


Biggest Problem

by camichats



Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [200]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Naked Cuddling, Post-First War with Voldemort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29138313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Sirius has trouble getting back to a normal life after the war ends, and he knows that he's not the only one. A night out at the pub with James takes an unexpected turn.
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter
Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [200]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/752925
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	Biggest Problem

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: “i literally love your blog so much! i didn't know this was a ship before i saw yours and i'm so fucking happy it does, can you write some post war fluff or literally anything you want, i just really like your writing lol!”
> 
> Post war fluff it is!

Waking up in the middle of the war had been like a tired jolt. He had to jolt to make sure that he wasn't in danger and that he was still in his flat where he should be, and tired because Sirius hated that he had to wake up like that. It was an ingrained habit by the time the war ended. 

Every day had been a worried knot of paranoia. He hadn't wanted to keep his eyes to himself and worry about missing something that could've saved lives. Even when he didn't have to work and stayed at the flat all day, he never knew when news of someone's death or capture would break. He was so stressed out all the time that he never knew when he was actually tired and when it was just feeling wrung out from being stressed. The days had blended together, which just made his sleep schedule worse. His alarm clock was programmed with the days that he worked, so he never had to worry about missing a day at the office. 

He'd still felt like rubbish all the time. He'd been overworked, over-stressed, and under-loved. Under-loved because he'd never had time to see any of his friends, and with how paranoid he'd been, he'd hardly had the time to enjoy it. Not to mention that James had been equally stressed out, and it had only made Sirius feel worse to see him sad. 

By the end of it all, Sirius had felt like little more than a wrung out rag. 

When the war ended, he suddenly had time to himself. There weren't life-and-death matters to be stressed about at all hours of the day. When Sirius woke up with his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest, he no longer thought of it as being safe; he thought that he was being stupid and should calm down. The danger was gone. He could get back to his normal life. 

The problem? Sirius didn't _have_ a normal life. He'd gotten kicked out/left his parents and wound up with James. At first, he'd been specifically not thinking about his future so that he didn't freak out. By the time he started to think about his future, the war had been starting, and it was more important to make sure they all made it through that than to worry about what he'd do afterwards. 

Now it was afterwards, and he had no idea what to do. 

He didn't like being an auror. He sodding hated the Head Auror-- who also hated him, and in turn, could make his life miserable, which the bastard did gleefully-- and the entire system made his lip curl in disdain. He was coming up on his last days working at the Ministry, and he still didn't know what he wanted to do next. The good news was that his flat was paid for, and he had enough saved up that he wouldn't have to worry about his other bills for a long time. 

The bad news was everything else. It felt like _no one_ knew what to do now that the war was over. They were all drifting, waiting for something to shock them back into normal living, and it hadn't happened yet. 

Sirius was meeting James for drinks tonight. Just the two of them. The old, familiar flame was still alive in his belly, heating when James was nearby; he'd never said anything to him about it, and he'd had a dozen excuses. Always excuses, never reasons. The only reason he had for not telling James that he fancied him was because he was a coward. The excuses ranged from 'it's not a good time right now' to 'maybe if I wait a little longer, he'll confess to me first'-- and he didn't think that James fancied him, so that excuse _really_ didn't hold up. 

He walked in the pub, eyes scanning from one side of the room to the other automatically. His gaze darted back over the people that looked suspicious, but he shook himself out of that headspace before he could get any further. That was a wartime practice, and they weren't in wartimes anymore. 

Point was, James wasn't here yet. Sirius took a seat at the bar and ordered a pint, keeping an eye on the door. 

James showed up a minute later, grinning when their eyes met. He made his way over, and Sirius ordered a pint for him. By the time he sat, the bartender was sliding the mug over. 

"Thanks," Sirius said, then nudged it into James's hand. 

"Thanks," James said, picking it up and taking a pull. "How've you been?" 

"Fine," he said. Saying that he felt like rubbish for no reason wasn't exactly pub talk. "You?" 

"Same." He probably meant it the same way that Sirius did, which only served to bring his mood down. 

"Cheers," Sirius said, clinking their glasses together. He took a sip, but it didn't make him feel any better, so he put it back down on the bar top. "What've you been up to?" 

James shrugged, looking down into his beer like it had the answer. "I've been thinking about leaving the aurors too. Without you as my partner, I don't know how I'd get through the day." 

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just-" 

"No, it's fine," James said, shaking his head. "I don't like being there anymore than you do. You're braver than me," he chuckled. "I can't leave without something else lined up." 

"I'm not braver than you," Sirius denied, because he wasn't. 

"Sure you are." 

Sirius snorted and didn't say anything else to disagree with him. If James wanted to believe that about him, there wasn't much he could do to change his mind. 

James glanced at him, then away again. Sirius pretended like he didn't see it; if he had something to say, he'd say it. "I keep thinking that the war's not really over," he said. 

Something told Sirius that that wasn't what he'd been thinking about, though. 

"Like we're here, having a pint and relaxing, and I feel guilty for not doing something helpful. Or I take a drink, and I want to kick myself for getting pissed when I should be paying attention." His throat worked for a moment as he stared at his beer. "Can we go to yours? This place is making me itch." 

"Sure. All I've got is rum, though." 

"You don't like rum," James said as Sirius started chugging his beer-- if he had to pay for all of it, he was going to drink all of it. "Why do you have it?" 

Sirius didn't answer for a minute because he was still drinking. When he stopped-- and burped, because honestly, it was a mistake to try and drink that much in one go-- he shrugged. "Uncle Alphard had left it there, and I never saw a point in getting rid of it. I just wanted you to know that I don't really have anything to drink at home." 

"I'll survive." He pushed himself to his feet. His beer was still almost entirely full since the only drink he'd taken had been when he first sat. 

If they'd been fresh out of Hogwarts, Sirius would've made some joke and James would respond by either rolling his eyes and joking back, or by drinking more of it. But they weren't fresh out of Hogwarts-- they weren't _fresh_ anything-- so Sirius paid for the drinks, and they left. Once they were outside, Sirius offered his hand so he could apparate both of them to his flat. He remembered too late that James knew where he lived and wouldn't need any sort of guidance to get there, but he took his hand before he could move. Sirius wrapped his fingers around his hand tightly and disapparated. 

He protections against people apparating inside the flat, so they landed on the welcome mat-- a gift from Lily, otherwise he never would've bothered-- and he had to unlock the door. He supposed that he could take down those protections, now. With the war done and all, there was no point in keeping them up. It would be nice to pop right into his flat like he'd always wanted to when he grew up. 

He didn't really feel grown up. Did he count as a grown up? He wasn't sure. He thought about asking James, but they were the same age, and he knew that James didn't think of himself that way. No point in asking a question when he already knew the answer. 

Sirius opened the door, and they stepped inside. He heard the door close, and he started taking off his shoes. Beside him, James was doing the same. He took off his coat and hung it up, then padded to the kitchen. He expected for James to follow him, but he didn't. He gave it a few more seconds, but James hadn't moved. Sirius turned back to look at him. 

James was stood by the door, working one foot absently against the floor like he was thinking very hard about something. 

"Is something wrong?" Sirius asked. It would make sense if there were. They'd gone out for drinks before and made it an hour before leaving. Maybe James had something to get off his chest and hadn't felt like he could do it in public. 

After a moment, he said, "No," but he was looking at Sirius like there was something he wanted to say. 

Sirius stared back evenly, willing to wait as long as it took. 

After several seconds, James seemed to come to a conclusion. He strode forward. Instead of stopping in front of Sirius and talking, he kept moving until he was in Sirius's space. He had to tilt his face up to kiss him, and he had his hands on either side of Sirius's face. 

For a heart-stopping moment, Sirius wondered if he was drugged. There might've been something in his drink but he didn't notice because of how quickly he'd downed it. 

But he couldn't imagine there was a drug vivid enough to give him the scent of rubbish beer under James's normal scent, or the warmth and every single wrinkle of his lips against Sirius's. Maybe that was a lack of imagination on his part. But if he was going to get to experience this in any way, he wasn't going to fight it. 

It only took him a second to kiss James back, but he could practically feel the relief coming from him when he did. 

Sirius could admit that it was a little awkward. James's glasses got in the way a little, and Sirius didn't know what to do with his hands. The only place to put them was on James's waist, and he didn't know if that would be okay so he kept them at his side. 

There was a long moment when James pulled back and they stared at each other. Neither of them said anything. They just looked into the other's eyes. He didn't know how to ask for more, or-- at the very least-- for James not to leave. James didn't look like he _wanted_ to go anywhere, but Sirius's immediate, panicked reaction was to hold onto him and never let go. 

He didn't have to. James kissed him again, and his grip tightened to the point that it was clear he never wanted to let Sirius go either. 

Neither of them said anything. 

Not for the rest of night, except for when James took off his glasses. Sirius asked, "You're going to be bloody blind." 

And James had said, "I can still see you," like it was the only thing that mattered. 

Sirius went to sleep feeling warm and tired but tired in a way that made him pleased instead of miserable. James was right beside him, curled against his side. 

When he woke up, James was still there. Not talking last night had been fine, but it wouldn't pass this morning. 

He didn't know what they were going to do because he didn't know what last had meant to James. Maybe he'd been lonely and they were mates and that's all there was to it. The thought was more than a little heartbreaking, but it made Sirius feel lighter, like a weight had been lifted. But no, that wasn't quite right. It was like a weight had been lifted but he hadn't realised until now, when he had something else to worry about. 

He could worry about how James felt for him-- whether it was aesthetic appreciation or an actual fancy-- without feeling guilty for ignoring more important problems. There _wasn't_ a more important problem. His friends weren't getting murdered and tortured. Muggles were free to continue their lives without wizarding interference to hurt them. The ministry wasn't in danger of being overthrown. He could worry about what James may or may not feel for him, and it would honestly be his biggest problem. 

The thought made him grin. 

James shifted, then propped his head up with one arm. There was a soft smile gracing his face. With the morning sun coming in through Sirius's window, it made him look almost angelic. "What're you so happy about this early?" 

"I was thinking that this is my biggest problem right now, and that's okay. I can worry about what we are to each other without missing details at an Order meeting because I'm distracted. If you don't want to date me, I can mope here all day, and that won't put Lily or anyone else in more danger because I wasn't around. Worrying about what you think of me is my biggest problem, and it's allowed to be." 

"You're a strange sort." 

"You mean you don't like that your biggest problems in life aren't worrying about death and torture and the imminent destruction of life as we know it?" 

James shook his head. "Not that. The part where you think I could possibly not want to be with you." 

"In my defense, we didn't really talk about it," he said, still smiling. 

"Eh." James reached out with his free hand and splayed his fingers across Sirius's chest, looking at the contrast of their skin like this. "I didn't say anything before the war because I was scared. I didn't say anything during the war, because I didn't see the point in having that conversation and distracting us. Whether we got together or not, it would've divided your focus, and I wasn't about to put your life on the line because I was in love. And I didn't say anything last night because... well, we didn't really need to talk about it, did we?" He looked up at Sirius's face. "I looked at you, and it seemed like you were feeling the same things that I was. So I didn't worry about it." His mouth quirked. "Should I start worrying about it?" 

"No. It doesn't seem like a good use of your time." Sirius lifted a hand and covered the one that James had on his chest. "You know what is a good use of your time?" 

"I'm guessing sex." 

"Well, yes, but I was going to say more sleep. I'm kind of tired, still." 

James chuckled. He leaned forward and kissed Sirius before laying back down. "Sounds good to me." 

It took some shifting for them to get back into comfortable positions, and Sirius let his hand trail idly across James's back as he thought. 

"I love you too, you know," he said quietly. 

James's eyes were already closed, and he didn't open them. "Yeah. I know." 

Sirius smiled and closed his eyes again. Getting a little more sleep really did sound like an excellent idea. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a prompt driven blog @[imaginejamesandsirius](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com) on tumblr. Feel free to drop by!


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